Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Another year gone by…

Posted in beautiful, Family, friends, happyness, Life, memories, music, quotes, The Future, The Holidays, Uncategorized on 12/31/2010 by asante

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don’t ask why.

It’s not a question,
but a lesson learned in time.

It’s something unpredictable
but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

–Green Day

2010 has come and gone.

May the upcoming year bring you bigger and better things than the one before it.

[in 5…….. 4…….. 3…….. 2…….. 1……..]

 

happy new year!

it’s the holiday season….

Posted in Uncategorized on 12/22/2010 by asante

… and I’m  freakin’ exhausted y’all. Been working like a dog up until today, and now I’m madly laundering and cleaning and packing my apartment/things (because I leave EVERYTHING until the last minute. *sigh*) Tomorrow will be interesting…. Still planning a 6am departure! Hah. Yeah right. lol

Knowing that I have a whirlwind holiday season ahead of me, including a 10-hour drive to the DMV and about a zillion people back home to visit, I know my blog steez will be darn near turned off for the next few weeks.

However….

I want to make sure that I wish all 3 (lol) of my loyal followers/readers the happiest of holiday seasons :)

So to you and yours, Happy Christma-Kwanza-Festivu-Channu-Solsti-NewYear*!

love you all. See you when I surface from the holiday madness :)

*I think I got ’em all… And if you don’t like Winter Holidays, just get a lil buzzed and have fun! Nothing better than not having to work for a few days ;)*

at a loss.

Posted in Uncategorized on 12/13/2010 by asante

The world as I know it has lost an amazing businesswoman, entrepreneur, friend, woman, mother, sister, aunt,  great-grandmother and grandmother.

To my beloved “Gogo”, Veronica Chisala, may you rest in peace.

I love you more than you will ever know. I will miss you more than words can say.

do the #nerdygirl rock.

Posted in college, friends, hobbies, Me, rant, revelations, The Future, Uncategorized, Work on 12/08/2010 by asante

I. Am. A. Nerd.

Always have been. I’m that girl who spends entirely too long clicking the “Random” button on Wikipedia for fun. I’ve been known to read random chapters in my textbooks just out of pure unadulterated curiosity (that’s on TOP of my actual workload, mind you.). I’m that irritating person correcting your grammar, contributing random facts nobody wants/needs to know to otherwise lighthearted conversations, and that sorta-know-it-all who probably knows the answer to that obscure question you just asked, because I thought it was cool, and looked it up last week. I like to know stuff.  #shrug

Yeah. Nerdy. Soooooo nerdy. lol.

And I’ve always been this way. But you know what I’ve noticed, in 20-or so odd years of nerdiness? The world is not nerd-friendly. At ALL. If you’re not Ken Jennings, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, nerds get very little love. If I had a nickel for every person whose eyes glazed over when I tell them what I do, or for every person who trips over themselves running in the opposite direction when I describe my undergrad degree….. I’d be a wealthy girl. lol.

And so in large part, I keep it to myself. Because nobody really wants to know. Most of the time they’re just being polite lol. They’re expecting something more succinct. I sit in silence while my friends discuss their work or their next career steps, because though their jobs escape my expertise, they can much more easily be relayed in laymen’s terms. Nobody wants to hear about the neurobiological or structural correlates of human psychopathology. *feel like browsing elsewhere yet? lol* No matter how interesting I may think that stuff is.

I never share. I never discuss. Mostly because I don’t want to feel like I’m boring people. As much as I love knowing shtuff, it’s hard out here for a nerd! lol

It definitely makes the whole dating scene significantly more complicated. I mean seriously, it may sound elitist and pretentious and I apologize for that, but it definitely narrows the field of available prospects when I have a Ph.D. in my future. (I would like a dude with at least a bachelor’s and aspirations for a higher degree. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.) So I find myself by and large dismissing the “just” high school grads/GED holders/”street entrepreneurs”/college drop-outs/general know-nothings. Because c’mon son. I’m going to be a doctor. lol. (no, it’s not an M.D. but it’s a DOCTORate. So yeah.).

But as grad school approaches and my commitment to this field that I love deepens, and the fact that this will be my career  for like, EVER, gets realer by the day, I realize I need to own up to it a little more. I need to start being proud of the weird way my brain-parts work lol. While my friends own/rock the fields of business and law and medical school and all those great careers that are more mentally accessible for the casual inquirer, I need to learn to pipe up and be like, “Yea Dude. I’m a future black neuroscientist. I can tell you how that gray mushy stuff between your ears functions. And I can tell you why it acts funny sometimes. ASK ABOUT ME!!!” lol.

Yes I’m that one super-nerd in the crowd. I need to stop mumbling “brain stuff” when people ask me what I do. Proudly proclaim that yes, I have a bachelors in a field that some people can’t even pronounce, and I’m going to be one of those “other” doctors one day.

Next time you see me, I’ll be on my Keri Hilson* steez, doing my “Nerdy Girl Rock”. Because honestly, Nerds Rule. lol.

 

*For the record, Keri DID attend my alma mater. Even if she didn’t graduate. Former Emory Folks stand UP!

Wintertime = Cuffing Season

Posted in happyness, music, playlist, randomness, The Holidays, Uncategorized on 11/13/2010 by asante

Hey blogfriends!

It’s officially “Cuffing Season” folks. lol. Getchu a piece!!!

It’s that time of year when everybody wants a boo-piece to keep them warm through these chilly winter months (and probably to buy them something nice come ChristmaHannuKwanzaaKah). Can’t hate. Do I have one? Not so much, at the moment. lol. But, for those of you that do, I’m here to help facilitate your boo-loving moments.

Y’all who read regularly or who know me well are fully aware that I LOVE music. It gets me through life, and in a lot of ways it’s just EVERYTHING to me, lol. Music is a great way to set the mood with you and your seasonal boo-slice. So here’s my playlist of songs that will make you want to cuddle juuuuust a little bit closer this winter. All aboard for a list of  lazy, soulful, and sultry tunes. Hope y’all like it, and feel free to suggest any great songs I may have missed!

Continue reading

Ph.D. bound…

Posted in college, Life, Me, Neuro, randomness, rant, The Future, Uncategorized on 11/10/2010 by asante

…Well, I will be. Eventually. Once I complete my 4-6 years of indentured servitude, commonly known as Graduate School.

Blech.

Yep, through the grace of some persistently misfiring synapse in my brain, I have the unfaltering desire to go to graduate school. *gulp*.

You could very easily call this story something along the lines of “For Colored Girls who Considered a Doctorate when a Bachelors’ Wasn’t Enuf.” lol.

(I’m silly.)

I’ve heard all sorts of horror stories and naysayers, and even some current grad students who good-natured-ly coax me to run as far as possible in the opposite direction, I really do want to go.

But these applications must DIE.

Applications of any sort just make me painfully anxious. I’ve put these off for months because they just make me twitch with terror. The possibility of making a mistake on one of them that will cost me the possibility of that option, or just the simple fact that someone will be judging me on paper (and I’ll be honest, my academic career thus far doesn’t look so hot on paper…. eek.) It makes me cringe and twitch and want to crawl underneath my desk into  a little ball and drown in unbearable freaked-out-ed-ness.

Tons of people tell me I don’t need to worry too much, because I’m a super minority. A.) I’m black. and B.) I’m female. Not to many of me applying for doctorate Neuroscience programs. So I do have that w0rking in my favor.  But I just don’t like the idea of having to prove myself to somebody. And then the COST of sending these all out? Don’t even get me started. It makes me want to cry a little bit. $380 in application fees. $207 to send test scores. About $100 to send my transcripts. And I only end up going to ONE of these schools, where tuition will be free. #WTFBelanie. Why are they so intent on taking my hard earned money from me?!

Well, I just needed a place to rant. Impending graduate studies matriculation is making me crazy. *Crossing my fingers for a Northwestern interview…….*

Scratch that. Power of positive thinking in this beeyotch!! I WILL impress Dr. Chiao. I WILL get in to Northwestern. I will move to Chicago and be fantastic (with a side of grad-student-broke). I will defy/rebuke anyone and anything that stands in my way. Haters, back up. Future doctor right here.

Just think… Asante K_________, B.S. M.S. Ph.D.

Yes please.

My life, 2010.

Posted in Uncategorized on 11/04/2010 by asante

I don’t watch that much TV. That’s my rationale, ya know? For not having cable. “I don’t watch that much TV.”  “I don’t need to pay for it.” “I can watch all my shows on basic channels/the internet”. etc.

So when I do watch TV, I’d like to think that the shows resonate a little bit more with me. That I’m not as glazed over as the average TV watcher.

Let me be honest: I only watch so many shows on TV. Mondays, I watch Sunday’s Dexter (0nline). Tuesdays, I catch Glee. Thursdays? Grey’s Anatomy. And every once in a while, I stay up a lil later to watch Private Practice. Now, I haven’t really been a big PP fan since like, Season 2. But I check in every once in a while (because I love Shonda Rhimes and all she does). But tonight’s episode threw me though. Hard.

Let me explain.

2010 has not been a great year for me, or my family for that matter. To be honest, this year has been uniquely characterized by all manner of painful and difficult experiences. And being the type of person that I am, I stuffed it all back in a corner of my head, did my best not to think about all of it, basically was as avoidant as anybody could possibly be. Because that’s how I deal. I can’t really do anything about that, it’s just my process. I have trouble facing things head on, I compartmentalize as much as possible until I can pretend to deal with it.

So seeing this episode (Season 4, Ep. 7) really brought up a lot of things for me. (No, I’m not going into detail, because these stories are not mine to share. I’m here to share my responses only.) My line of work (examining PTSD in a low income population) deals a lot with the “confrontation” of trauma. Which has happened to me. And seeing others confronted with such things affects me a lot more strongly these days.  Seeing the character Charlotte so vehemently opposing the idea of facing what happened to her really struck me, because I can understand where she’s coming fr0m.

I’ve had those same thoughts. These things aren’t supposed to happen to me. This type of heartache belongs to someone else. This isn’t supposed to be part of my story. I don’t want people to identify me as that person: the person who went through that.

But it did. On some level, it is mine to bear, it is, and those who know, will. Now, though these things haven’t happened directly to me, it’s still been burned into the pages of my life history. I’m “the daughter of that person who….” . I’m “the girl whose sister….”. I “know a person who….”.

And it’s a weight. I’ve been dragging these extra stories around behind me for months in some cases, and they love popping up at random times when I’m just trying to enjoy a TV show.

I guess the important thing is that I realize that there are time when I need to realize that the reason they pop up is that I need to acknowledge that these things are events that I need to confr0nt, need to come to terms with, because until I do, they’re going to continue to keep popping up.  The sooner I accept certain things as a part of MY year, not just a year in my life, the better. To those in my life who have been through unspeakable hardships this year, know that I love you. I’m dealing/coping in my way. I may not process it exceptionally, but I’m trying, and I’m here.

****This post doesn’t serve much purpose but to express how I’ve been dealing with family shtuff over the past few months. Apologies if you feel in the dark. I just needed to get this out.****