Archive for the memories Category

I’m baaaaack!

Posted in catching up, Dogs, friends, happyness, Ink/Holes, inspired, Life, Me, memories, Nerdyness, news, randomness, reading, revelations, sadface, The Future, The Wonderful Internet, TV, video, Work on 02/08/2011 by asante

Hello lovelies :) Didja miss me?

I know, I know. It’s been forever. :-x But like I said before, my life has been in shambles lately, a whooole lot of mess pulling in a bunch of directions. So what have I been upto? Lets run through it.

1. VEGAS. Yes. I was there. It was unbelievable, I had the most amazing time! Me and 3 of my very good friends jetted out to beautiful, sunny Nevada to live out our own version of “The Hangover”. We went out, saw a show, played tourist, gambled (I won $7.14 y’all. Can we say ballin’?), had In-N’-Out Burger for the first time in life (Dear Lord. If I can eat nothing else for the rest of my life… I’ll never complain again. Amen.), spent WAY too much money, and bonded with my Wolfpack. Vacation of EPIC proportions. Can’t wait for the next one :)

2. Grad School. One interview down, 3 to go! The first one went REALLY well, I have high hopes that  I showed Vandy without a doubt that I am AWESOME. Like, seriously. lol. And Nashville was actually a LOT of fun. A friend of mine was nice enough to take me around town and show me a great time, I had a blast. Who knows…. I may be moving to Tennessee y’all :) lol

3. My Poor Pookie.

Yes. That is the formerly sleek and unblemished driver’s side of my Pookie, otherwise known as my ’09 Camry. *cue the hot salty tears of depression… and pour out a little Turtle Wax for her.* Note to all: I don’t care how little regard you hold for your piece of $#!? car, but I LOVE mine. Blind turns in parking garages have 5mph speed limits FOR A REASON. *sniff*. Stupid ’96 Cavalier. At least the cop was fine though. Officer Jones….. #yesplease. lol.

4. Workworkwork…. and BS co-workers. Any of you who follow me on Twitter knows that I faced quite the debacle with a co-worker last week. #deeeeeepsigh. Lets get one thing straight, shall we? I am many things, but a pushover is not one of them. When I ask you to do something and you don’t, just because I don’t say anything, doesn’t mean I’m not aware of your bull. So don’t act all shocked and surprised when I stop asking you to do stuff. There is NOTHING on this planet I despise more than people who don’t have the decency to follow through when asked for a favor. If you don’t want to do it, SAY NO. Seriously! So that I know not to bother next time. Because I will only put my work integrity in your pathetic, incapable hands so many times before I relegate you to a box reserved for the lazy and irresponsible. Do NOT mess with my job. I take my image at work VERY seriously, and don’t appreciate those who can’t do the same. < /rant >

5. SuperBowl Commercials …meh. Except for these two!:

Greatness. And no, I’m not going to comment on the game this year. I was bored to tears. And the Steelers…. just…. fail.

6. New Ink …Yes I know. I’m an addict. But I can’t help myself lol. Officially saving up for tattoo #6… Once I finalize the design, I’ll share. :)

7. BookyWooks! I’ve been reading up a storm in my web-absence. “The Unnamed” (Joshua Ferris),”Bitch Is The New Black” (Helena Andrews), “Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self” (Danielle Evans), “Naked” (David Sedaris) and always more to come. Each VERY different, but I like the variety. Hit me up for more detailed reviews if you’d like, but I’d recommend them all! Long Live REAL books!

8. Tiger In the wake of the insanity that is my life, I had to give up my baby boo, my dog Tiger. Still miss him something FIERCE! :( Hopefully once my schedule dials back I’ll be able to get another dog…. But I miss my Punkin’ Face. I really hope he found a good family though.

Anyways I should really get back to work… Though this was a nice break, time to mosey on back to the craziness that is my work day. Later folks :)

Another year gone by…

Posted in beautiful, Family, friends, happyness, Life, memories, music, quotes, The Future, The Holidays, Uncategorized on 12/31/2010 by asante

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don’t ask why.

It’s not a question,
but a lesson learned in time.

It’s something unpredictable
but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

–Green Day

2010 has come and gone.

May the upcoming year bring you bigger and better things than the one before it.

[in 5…….. 4…….. 3…….. 2…….. 1……..]

 

happy new year!

Secrets…

Posted in friends, happyness, Home, inspired, Life, Me, memories, rant, sadface, ugh. on 12/11/2010 by asante

“… Some mine, some his, some hers…”

Line from one of my favorite Alice Smith songs: “Secrets” off her album “For Lovers, Dreamers, & Me”.  That line for me is so simple, but loaded.

We all have secrets, right? Those stories or details that we keep to ourselves. Don’t tell anyone but our closest confidantes (and even sometimes, we may not tell them either).

…Or maybe that’s me. Personally, I have some things that I just can’t tell anybody. Maybe it’s because I think that certain things aren’t mine to tell. Other times I just don’t want *that* look on people’s faces. Sometimes it’s just not any of their business. But by and large,  I like to keep to myself. I don’t tell most people jack. I’m a secretive introvert.

Why? Because people judge. And people pity. And it’s a natural human reaction to OVERreact to certain tidbits of news. And on those most secret of topics in my life, I’d rather not deal with all of that. Kindly #STFU, please.

Not for lack of trust, but it’s mostly borne from a tendency to keep sensitive info to myself. While with a whole lot of stuff I’m a total blabbermouth, certain things I have no desire to tell anyone. It makes it complicated when it comes to my confidantes, because there are a few things that even my very closest friends don’t know (aside from probably my best friend and my ex, who know just about everything there is to know about me).

I prefer to keep my secrets.

I think there is something to be said for those of us who can maintain some level of secrecy/candid-ness in the face of the openness that social media provides us these days. I may be extroverted on many levels, I can sometimes be super TMI, I have a Twitter account that I use somewhat obnoxiously, but when it comes to certain topics, I’m totally mum. I just feel like certain things aren’t other people’s business.

Somethings  just don’t need to be shared. The increasingly open nature of the internet has taught me that I need to be more careful with my secrets. They’re secrets for a reason, right?

I may have some trust issues.   o_O

It keeps me a tad closed off from the world, but I like the fact that there are certain things about me that people will never know about me unless they really give me reason to invite them to my inner circle.

Wanna know more? Ask. And maybe in a few months, you may receive. But until then, there are only certain things that I’ll feel comfortable telling people. But it’s a personal deal.

Sharing every facet of my life with EVERYONE I know can’t possibly be healthy. So I’m gonna stick to this method until someone proves me wrong that silence can be golden in some situations. Because seriously, I think sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut. Meh.

black is beautiful.

Posted in beautiful, Family, happyness, Love, Me, memories, randomness on 11/16/2010 by asante

I’ll say it loud and proud: I love my skintone.

Dark, chocolate-y, ebony, whatever you want to call it, I have it, and I love it. I inherited my daddy’s super-deep-dark African complexion, and I plan on rocking the hell outta all this melanin for years and years to come. No hate whatsoever to my friends and readers of a lighter complexion, but personally I think there are few things more fantastic than deep brown skin.

I think it’s clear that the whole Darkskin/Lightskin dichotomy never really affected me that much. I’m lucky enough that it was never a major issue for me, at least as far a insecurities go. I scoffed at my family members back home overseas who would ask us to send them “lightening” creams. I was fully aware that I was dark skinned. And I embraced it. No problem going out to the beach or pool basking in the sun. It still baffles me to this day how much weight some people place on this, how much of their story is defined by feelings of inadequacies based in the deepness or paleness of their skin.

I saw this video today, and it really stuck with me; seeing women of all backgrounds still facing the same struggle of feeling like the deep tone of their skin makes them somewhat inferior. STILL. In 2010. Like, what?! I thought we’d be off that by now :(

It’s disheartening, to say the least. But I do commend the women in the video for not only approaching acceptance and self love of their hues, but doing their best to share those sentiments with others :) (that little girl just broke my heart!!!) I’m grateful to have been raised in a household where it was never a major pre-0ccupation. I escaped that particular brand of self-doubt, and managed to emerge not only with a level of acceptance, but a high level of adoration for it :) I really hope that others will start to realize that there is so much to be said for loving what you’ve got, and can get to where I’m at about this particular issue. Self love rocks!

I remember waaaaay back in high school, one day in art class, my teacher Mr. Newman was discussing mixing colors to recreate flesh tones, as we were painting a live model that week. As the only “other” in the room, (I attended an overwhelmingly predominantly white private school, so people who looked like me were few and far-between. Hence the high level of bouge I proudly display today. lol.) he decided to choose me as a guinea pig to show how to mix skin tones. He took my forearm, an array of paint, and a palette knife, and began mixing colors right there against my skin, trying to match the color, all the while lamenting the fact that our model was caucasian, and in his opinion, unfortunately her skin wasn’t as interesting as mine. 20 minutes later, he had added blues, reds, yellows, coming close, but not quite. It was a crazy scene, and took a lot of turp to get off, but it was a fantastic display of just how dynamic dark-brown skin can be. Paleness be damned!!

That moment stuck with me, and to this day I take every opportunity to relish in all my black-coffee-colored naturally Coppertone-d awesomeness. I love the way the sun makes my skin all glow-y. I get super excited when I get a lil’ tan and I’m even darker than usual. I play it up, show it off, and otherwise flaunt it in any way possible. It makes me giggle seeing people baking all day under the sun trying to get what I’ve got. Deep brown/red/yellow/blue/black-toned deep dark chocolatey skin. I laugh it off when someone tries to hate on dark skinned people, because I know deep down it’s not disdain, it’s envy. Not as dark as me? You maaaad lol. It’s ok. Have a tissue.

I know I’ll never be a “redbone” or “lightskinn-ded” or “bright”. And that’s how I like it. thankyouverymuch.

my black is b-e-a-UTIFUL. Period.

I think it’s clear that the whole Dark/Light dichotomy never really affected me that much. I’m lucky enough that it was never a major issue for me, at least as far a insecurities go. I scoffed at my family members back home who would ask us to send them “lightening” creams. I was fully aware that I was dark skinned. And I embraced it. No problem going out to the beach or pool basking in the sun.

Rachet.

Posted in friends, funny, Life, Me, memories, randomness, rant, ugh., weekend on 10/15/2010 by asante

Seriously. lol.

Ohhhh the hoodrachetassness that Atlanta females are capable of. Especially when some half-famous mostly-fine celeb is in town.  For those unfamiliar with the term, let me clarify:

hood•ra•chet•ass•ness (noun.)  – 1. The wildly unnecessary, uncouth, and ghetto behavior of an individual in response to some insignificant incident. 2. A primarily African-American deep-southern-bred mode of behavior that displays a woeful lack of God-given sense.

Yea. Merriam-Webster, hope you’re paying attention.

I still can’t get over the foolishness that went down last night. Me and some friends of mine decided to head to Opera last night (one of the many fine nightclubs in the city of Atlanta). It was my turn to drive, and I was willing happy to do it. (Sidenote: Those of you who don’t know me, let me be frank. I drive a lil’ crazy. Not SUPER crazy, but lets just say that I rarely obey speed limits. And quelling road rage is a constant struggle. And I’ve been known to scream/curse/yell/berate other drivers on a frequent basis. Yeah.) Now with the particular brand of stupid that characterizes many Atlanta drivers, I get a lil’ agitated on the roads. And moreso when people are rude for no reason.

So when it came time to attempt to turn into the badly-placed parking garage, and folk were wasting my time? I pulled my D.C. Driving* Skills out of my left pocket. I cut a chick off. *Kanye Shrug*

*D.C. Driving: The superior automobile operation capabilities that can only be taught by earning a license on the streets of the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia Area). Examples include: executing perfect illegal U-turns without having to re-adjust for the curb, effortless parallel parking, knowledge of when your brakes aren’t necessary, and the ability to pull off crazy driving moves without collisions/getting shot at. Also, the ability to navigate without ending up in SW D.C./Anacostia.*

She was NOT happy. Apparently she thought that leaving 10 feet of space in front her car was prohibitive. But hey. It happens. Some time or another, you’ll be hanging out behind the wheel, not paying enough attention to the road, and someone’s gonna cut you off. Does that warrant her reaction?

No. Heeeeeell No.

She and her friends (three cars worth!!) decided that the best course of action would be to spend the evening FOLLOWING us. They parked near us, followed us around the dance floor, trailed us to the bathroom…. ALL NIGHT. All the while Whisper-Thugging like they had nothing better to do with their evening.

Bish what?! lol

Seriously. You got into the parking deck, you got into the club, you may have even gotten a glimpse of that half-celeb who doesn’t give a rat’s tail about your simple self. No harm, no foul. Please find something more productive to do with your life than trying to intimidate me. And I say trying, because you don’t want none of this. Don’t make ME get rachet. lol.

Moral of the story: Atlanta chicks have cornered the market on hoodrachetassness. And maybe I just need to avoid club nights when they’re ALL trying to throw themselves at one of the 12 decent men in this city. Meh. Life choices.

< /rant >

The End. lol.

we. are. family.

Posted in 2+3, Family, funny, happyness, Home, Love, memories, Uncategorized on 10/07/2010 by asante

I grew up surrounded  by girls. Me and my two younger sisters (who were all “supposed” to be boys. lol). COUNTLESS female cousins (literally, countless. Real difficult to keep track of my clan lol.). Six years of single-sex education. Seriously, my formative years were all about female bonding. Well, maybe not bonding so much. But anyways. Today I’m focusing on the 4 women who lived in the same four walls as me.

Me and my sisters and my mom. To this day, it has not ceased to amaze me how four people, who by all science-y genetic arguments, should be very similar, can be so unbelievably different. Confounds the nature AND the nurture junk. But it does give a great foundation for some conflict, lol. Lets run it down, shall we?

Well there’s my Mother first, of course. Bubbly, talkative, lovingly goofy and just a liiiittle bit dramatic. Loves to sing (off-key, mind you :), a big ole’ bundle of love and smooches wrapped in an unfailingly strong, sometimes terrifying, and loyal exterior, my mother pretty much holds my family together. She’s the one who beat the sense into us when we needed it, and drove 3 cars into the dirt (Civic, Windstar, Montero) supporting our every want, need, aspiration and desire, along with a few unhealthy shopping habits :)

Next? Me. Oldest child, a.k.a. “#1.” Y’all already know. lol. Moving on…

#2 is by far the most outspoken of the bunch. She’s LOUD. In the best ways possible. Unique, daring, unapologetic, angsty and raw, she is that IDGAF chick throwing up the “rockstar” who you wish you could kick it with. Neon sneakers, red lipstick and leopard print? Check, check and check. lol. My complete and utter opposite, we NEVER got along growing up, we were always at odds about something or other. But she is FIERCE. lol.

#3 probably outpaces me in one respect: she is definitely more bougie than me. Don’t think it’s possible? Seriously. She is all things bouge and valley personified lol. Quieter and a little more acquiescent, she’s the most mellow of us all. Laid back and chillin’ in the cut, she’s effortlessly relaxed at all times. A little more like me, but because she’s the baby, she got everything she wanted. So it was easy for her to be chill lol.

See what I mean though? Some similarities, but overall, we are completely, utterly, and sometimes irritatingly different people. From the same family. And the same house. *cue the chaos* lol.

Understandably, we butted heads more than most. I was always confused as to why my friends with one sister, or two sisters with greater age differences seemed to get along so much better than the ladies in my house. Now looking back, I realize there was just too much going on in my house. We were too different, too close in age, there was just way too much personality in one house lol. (My mother was mid-twenties when she had me, and there’s only 9 years between me and #3. So it’s a tight age gap.). And then you throw in the fact that we’re all loud, African, and a little bit crazy? I think you get the picture.

Growing up in my house meant operating on the understanding that with this many other personalities and individuals vying for center stage, the only way to get there was by bumping the person currently in the spotlight. Girls by nature are always at each other’s throats. And we were sisters. lol.  Talk about upping the ante.

So we argued, fought tooth and nail, for a couple minutes to shine, before the next person decided it was time for you to keep it moving. But I definitely don’t think this is a bad thing. If anything, I think it (and my mother) taught us each to thrive on competition. I mean when you’re constantly up against such dynamos in your own household, the rest of the world can kick rocks. Getting your shine on in my house meant that once you walked out the door, nobody could tell us nuthin’. Seriously. I don’t think I would have liked so much the person we each became if it wasn’t for our tumultuous childhood lol.

Eventually, the chaos subsided. I moved out, #2 jumped the pond, and #3 gets to kick  back and conquer highschool with the effortless calm she always had, with the peace of mind that her nutty older sisters are far-far-away. We understand each other a lot better now. A more distant perspective on those years way back when all we could do was fight has, in my opinion, made us closer.

My little sisters and my mom are amazing women. I may not say it enough, but they really are. I cherish every scuffle, shouting match, slammed door, and smart-ass comment lol. We’re a bunch of born n’ bred fighters, and with that kind of history behind us, there is nothing we can’t take on. So don’t try us. ‘Cause we’re crazy. lol.

“Friends… How many of us have them?”

Posted in friends, happyness, Life, Me, memories, music, quotes, rant on 08/10/2010 by asante

Above quote: Whodini – “Friends”. Bravo if you knew it without Googling it lol.

Who can you really trust these days?

Heavy question, I know, folks. But it’s one that personally, I keep on my mind on a pretty frequent basis. Call me guarded, but I keep very few friends. I have tons of acquaintances, which is the result of being a naturally outgoing person (I’m a Leo, what can I say lol). I enjoy the company of others, I’m rather personable, I can make nice with people easily and comfortably. But  that doesn’t mean that we’re “friends”.

It may seem callous, but I’ve had a lot of “friendly fire” in my history, and as a result, I make a point to distrust first. I am not the one to bond with a person immediately, at least not to the point where you get access to my inner thoughts and views and feelings without passing several critical tests. I’ll say it again, I’m guarded. Those friends who I have realized I can trust, I trust unconditionally. But It’s not like they got to that point easily. My inner circle is comprised of people who I have a natural ease with, people who I have known for ages, or people who have never given me any reason to distrust them.

Everyone else on the other hand… I don’t trust easy. I take small things to heart, because those small things between friends can really explode sometimes. Little misdeeds and tiny tells of disloyalty, those types of things are HUGE to me, because all it takes is one episode for me to realize that that person is not deserving of my trust.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would like to have lots and lots of people that I feel I could reliably depend on, but sadly, that’s not the way life works. Personally, people lose my trust much more easily than they gain it.  #truestory: people can be shady as hell.

Which is why my “inner circle” is so small. If  I had to count, I would have less than 10 people that I know would be there for me no matter what, through anything. And I love them more than they know. But at this point in my life,  I don’t really know that I could add more people to that list. Now that I’ve finally, recently become more aware not only of the person that I am, but the person I aspire to be, I realize that I need to be more discerning as far as the people who I unconditionally allow to get to that deepest part of who I am. And I’m not sure if that many of my acquaintances fit the bill.

Maybe I’m predisposing myself to some level of loneliness. But I dunno if overpopulating my life is worth having people in it that I can’t trust. (Does that make sense? Hopefully lol.) I don’t think it’s loneliness. Rather, I think it’s insurance that those precious few who I intend to maintain relationships with are the BEST, the cream of the crop, and those most likely to have my best interests in mind.

It’s just difficult for me to let people in I suppose. And beyond that, even more difficult to let people back in. I have a lot of difficulty forgetting, though I may forgive (or at least act civil) in most cases rekindling that relationship takes a LOT for me.

Maybe I need to be more open, more trusting, and maybe that will come with age, life, and experience. But at the moment, I’m too wonderfully aware of myself to deal with the uncertainty of others.