Archive for the funny Category

#nerdlife.

Posted in funny, hobbies, Life, Me, Nerdyness, Neuro, randomness, ugh. on 02/18/2011 by asante

Hello world.

My name is Asante, and I am a self-proclaimed certified nerd.

I often find myself researching for fun. I read ahead in text books. I know weird facts and words that normal people don’t care about. I’m going to graduate school to study MORE random facts that only I care about (as far as my friends are concerned, anyways). I read. A LOT.

BUT… I know when to turn it off.

You know, like that self-awareness kicks in at some point and I realize there is more to life than showing people how intelligent I am. I’m realizing now that in this regard, I am an anomaly.

I’ve spent the past 3 weeks getting to know quite a few nerds as I navigate the uncomfortable realm of grad school interviews, and let me tell you: in 3 weeks of these there have not been more that 4-5 “normal” applicants per pool. Seriously. The rest are charmingly, but blatantly socially awkward. To the point where I felt awkward for NOT being awkward. How twisted is that?

I mean I appreciate a person who can really delve into the significance of a single cell patch clamp response. Or the consummatory dopamine circuit. Or even the molecular significance of a missing post-synaptic transporter. (Getting away from you there? I know, fear not, I’m coming back. And yes, your eyes are supposed to be glazing over.) But for the love of everything that is good, approachable and non-awkward, give it a rest sometimes! I love my work and I love the brain and all that, but if you can’t find a balance between your academic motives and your personal life, I don’t know what to say for you.

Even the professors I’ve met, after I  ably describe/discuss the complex parameters of our study and what I do within it, have asked me “What else do you do? Like, when you’re NOT in the lab?” It would surprise me if some of these folks had an answer to that question. Like, seriously.

I love being a nerd, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being in the company of such intelligent and driven people. But when the professors are gone and the grad students are offering you a beer, TAKE IT. And then relax. We all know you’re smart. Now show us that you can be a normal person. At least until the beer wears off.

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“Valentine’s Day: By The Numbers”

Posted in funny, Love, randomness, The Holidays, The Wonderful Internet on 02/10/2011 by asante

I busted out cackling at these graphs, no lie! Originally posted [here], author Wylo takes a hilarious approach to the lead-up and fall out of the year’s most emotional holiday, Valentine’s Day. Enjoy!

¤ Visit the whole site, Cool Material! ¤

Fun-ness on the interwebs!

Posted in funny, Me, Nerdyness, randomness, The Wonderful Internet, TV on 12/18/2010 by asante

Hi folks-es :)

ForGET going outside. This crummy cold weather has me staying inside my apartment instead, and finding entertaining things on the interwebs lol. I just had to share some amusing web stuff I found recently. Ch-ch-ch-check it out!

1. How I Met Your Mother is the best show I didn’t realize I should be watching. HI-Larious!! I love it lol. Great clip from an episode I watched the other day: Hot/Crazy Scale lol. Ladies, where do you think you fall? :)

Math can be fun sometimes. HA! lol.

*I preeety sure I’m teetering below the “Vicki Mendoza Diagonal”. #crazyandproud! haha! Besides, anyone who tells you they’re not a lil ‘ cray-cray is lying. lol*

2. In case y’all didn’t know, Diddy is low-key ridiculously funny. (Have you seen “Get Him To The Greek”?? iDie. lol. (“I’m gonna cover the whole outside of my house with this material. My house gon’ look like a f**kin’ werewolf.” <–THIS!!)

So when I saw this Ciroc commercial with him and Aziz Ansari, I could NOT stop watching/laughing. lol.

“Smooth don’t sneeze…..” lmao!

3.

*melts from adorablness overload*

4. Prince treated Sherri’s life on “The View” the other day. Did you see it?! I was at work, but I saw the clip afterwards. Never have I seen a man run SO FAST from an offer of some lady’s love box. A part of my soul HURT for her lol. Just…. watch. lol. and laugh. And please do me a favor and watch Sherri’s face as Prince emanates awesomeness next to her lmao. Poor thang.

5. So I have a mini-crush. And when I say mini, I mean he’s a child…….. But not in a sketchy way!! lol.” Lil’ P-Nut” is about to blow up the airwaves y’all!!! Seriously. I am totally just enamored with this teeny-tiny rapper. He is about the most presh thing I’ve ever seen ever in life. With his adorable lil’ jheri-curled self. *melts again*. Please watch the following. You will love it.

“Would you like some ‘tater-chips, bubble gum, or a freeze-cup?” – Lil’ P-Nut

6. And now I leave you with an awesome link as an exit.

Ladies. We all like to go out and hit the clubs with the girls, right? And there’s always that sketchball who thinks he’s the flyest thing on two feet when he’s the lamest dude in the club. Right?! I know this has happened to me. Well the following link is something we can ALL relate to. I canNOT stop going to this page. This chica is a friend-in-my-head for putting this together. #EpicWin. Click it!!

¤ http://protejai.tumblr.com/post/1697184021 ¤

Great right?! Anyways, just some fun for today. Hope y’all are having a good day :)

Rachet.

Posted in friends, funny, Life, Me, memories, randomness, rant, ugh., weekend on 10/15/2010 by asante

Seriously. lol.

Ohhhh the hoodrachetassness that Atlanta females are capable of. Especially when some half-famous mostly-fine celeb is in town.  For those unfamiliar with the term, let me clarify:

hood•ra•chet•ass•ness (noun.)  – 1. The wildly unnecessary, uncouth, and ghetto behavior of an individual in response to some insignificant incident. 2. A primarily African-American deep-southern-bred mode of behavior that displays a woeful lack of God-given sense.

Yea. Merriam-Webster, hope you’re paying attention.

I still can’t get over the foolishness that went down last night. Me and some friends of mine decided to head to Opera last night (one of the many fine nightclubs in the city of Atlanta). It was my turn to drive, and I was willing happy to do it. (Sidenote: Those of you who don’t know me, let me be frank. I drive a lil’ crazy. Not SUPER crazy, but lets just say that I rarely obey speed limits. And quelling road rage is a constant struggle. And I’ve been known to scream/curse/yell/berate other drivers on a frequent basis. Yeah.) Now with the particular brand of stupid that characterizes many Atlanta drivers, I get a lil’ agitated on the roads. And moreso when people are rude for no reason.

So when it came time to attempt to turn into the badly-placed parking garage, and folk were wasting my time? I pulled my D.C. Driving* Skills out of my left pocket. I cut a chick off. *Kanye Shrug*

*D.C. Driving: The superior automobile operation capabilities that can only be taught by earning a license on the streets of the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia Area). Examples include: executing perfect illegal U-turns without having to re-adjust for the curb, effortless parallel parking, knowledge of when your brakes aren’t necessary, and the ability to pull off crazy driving moves without collisions/getting shot at. Also, the ability to navigate without ending up in SW D.C./Anacostia.*

She was NOT happy. Apparently she thought that leaving 10 feet of space in front her car was prohibitive. But hey. It happens. Some time or another, you’ll be hanging out behind the wheel, not paying enough attention to the road, and someone’s gonna cut you off. Does that warrant her reaction?

No. Heeeeeell No.

She and her friends (three cars worth!!) decided that the best course of action would be to spend the evening FOLLOWING us. They parked near us, followed us around the dance floor, trailed us to the bathroom…. ALL NIGHT. All the while Whisper-Thugging like they had nothing better to do with their evening.

Bish what?! lol

Seriously. You got into the parking deck, you got into the club, you may have even gotten a glimpse of that half-celeb who doesn’t give a rat’s tail about your simple self. No harm, no foul. Please find something more productive to do with your life than trying to intimidate me. And I say trying, because you don’t want none of this. Don’t make ME get rachet. lol.

Moral of the story: Atlanta chicks have cornered the market on hoodrachetassness. And maybe I just need to avoid club nights when they’re ALL trying to throw themselves at one of the 12 decent men in this city. Meh. Life choices.

< /rant >

The End. lol.

we. are. family.

Posted in 2+3, Family, funny, happyness, Home, Love, memories, Uncategorized on 10/07/2010 by asante

I grew up surrounded  by girls. Me and my two younger sisters (who were all “supposed” to be boys. lol). COUNTLESS female cousins (literally, countless. Real difficult to keep track of my clan lol.). Six years of single-sex education. Seriously, my formative years were all about female bonding. Well, maybe not bonding so much. But anyways. Today I’m focusing on the 4 women who lived in the same four walls as me.

Me and my sisters and my mom. To this day, it has not ceased to amaze me how four people, who by all science-y genetic arguments, should be very similar, can be so unbelievably different. Confounds the nature AND the nurture junk. But it does give a great foundation for some conflict, lol. Lets run it down, shall we?

Well there’s my Mother first, of course. Bubbly, talkative, lovingly goofy and just a liiiittle bit dramatic. Loves to sing (off-key, mind you :), a big ole’ bundle of love and smooches wrapped in an unfailingly strong, sometimes terrifying, and loyal exterior, my mother pretty much holds my family together. She’s the one who beat the sense into us when we needed it, and drove 3 cars into the dirt (Civic, Windstar, Montero) supporting our every want, need, aspiration and desire, along with a few unhealthy shopping habits :)

Next? Me. Oldest child, a.k.a. “#1.” Y’all already know. lol. Moving on…

#2 is by far the most outspoken of the bunch. She’s LOUD. In the best ways possible. Unique, daring, unapologetic, angsty and raw, she is that IDGAF chick throwing up the “rockstar” who you wish you could kick it with. Neon sneakers, red lipstick and leopard print? Check, check and check. lol. My complete and utter opposite, we NEVER got along growing up, we were always at odds about something or other. But she is FIERCE. lol.

#3 probably outpaces me in one respect: she is definitely more bougie than me. Don’t think it’s possible? Seriously. She is all things bouge and valley personified lol. Quieter and a little more acquiescent, she’s the most mellow of us all. Laid back and chillin’ in the cut, she’s effortlessly relaxed at all times. A little more like me, but because she’s the baby, she got everything she wanted. So it was easy for her to be chill lol.

See what I mean though? Some similarities, but overall, we are completely, utterly, and sometimes irritatingly different people. From the same family. And the same house. *cue the chaos* lol.

Understandably, we butted heads more than most. I was always confused as to why my friends with one sister, or two sisters with greater age differences seemed to get along so much better than the ladies in my house. Now looking back, I realize there was just too much going on in my house. We were too different, too close in age, there was just way too much personality in one house lol. (My mother was mid-twenties when she had me, and there’s only 9 years between me and #3. So it’s a tight age gap.). And then you throw in the fact that we’re all loud, African, and a little bit crazy? I think you get the picture.

Growing up in my house meant operating on the understanding that with this many other personalities and individuals vying for center stage, the only way to get there was by bumping the person currently in the spotlight. Girls by nature are always at each other’s throats. And we were sisters. lol.  Talk about upping the ante.

So we argued, fought tooth and nail, for a couple minutes to shine, before the next person decided it was time for you to keep it moving. But I definitely don’t think this is a bad thing. If anything, I think it (and my mother) taught us each to thrive on competition. I mean when you’re constantly up against such dynamos in your own household, the rest of the world can kick rocks. Getting your shine on in my house meant that once you walked out the door, nobody could tell us nuthin’. Seriously. I don’t think I would have liked so much the person we each became if it wasn’t for our tumultuous childhood lol.

Eventually, the chaos subsided. I moved out, #2 jumped the pond, and #3 gets to kick  back and conquer highschool with the effortless calm she always had, with the peace of mind that her nutty older sisters are far-far-away. We understand each other a lot better now. A more distant perspective on those years way back when all we could do was fight has, in my opinion, made us closer.

My little sisters and my mom are amazing women. I may not say it enough, but they really are. I cherish every scuffle, shouting match, slammed door, and smart-ass comment lol. We’re a bunch of born n’ bred fighters, and with that kind of history behind us, there is nothing we can’t take on. So don’t try us. ‘Cause we’re crazy. lol.

Marcel the Shell :)

Posted in funny, happyness, randomness, The Wonderful Internet on 09/08/2010 by asante

Silly, cute little video. And yes, i’m fully aware that my original content is lacking recently. #stopjudgingme lol.

Can They Live?

Posted in funny, news, quotes, randomness, reading, The Wonderful Internet, Uncategorized on 08/09/2010 by asante

Let me be clear. I’m in no way/shape/form well versed in politics. My knowledge of how the government works is very limited.

But I am a fan of President Obama.

I think that from the perspective of a politically simple-brained person as myself, he seems to be doing a good– maybe great–job, in light of the circumstances he was left with (Muchos Gracias, Bush I &II). And I just get stymied when I see people BLATANTLY acting brand new about how he, and his family, as the FIRST FAMILY, get treated just because they have the audacity to be black and rich.

If you weren’t aware, the Obama’s were black and rich BEFORE he became President. lol. I mean, have you seen his house?!

So why is it such a big deal when rich black folk act like… well, rich black folk? Why is it such an issue for the rich, black, first lady of the free world to go on vacation? Danielle Belton got into it in this great article: “People Who Get Mad When Right People Do Rich Things Confuse Me” and I gotta say, I agree. Let the man be rich and black lol. I think he deserves it.  Check out an excerpt below.

While I was in New York City participating in Basseyworld Live the TV exploded with indignation over a wealthy woman going on an August vacation to Spain with her daughter. That wealthy woman happened to be the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama. And because her personal safety is of national importance, we pay for her security detail. (Of course, we’re always paying for her security detail and travel and other things no matter what she does because it’s all largely budgeted in advance and pre-approved by Congress, but never mind those pesky details.)

OMG! Her living her life going on a private family trip is SOOOOO OFFENSIVE! Doesn’t she know that the only way I can tell if she cares about me and my unemployment is if she makes empty, showy gestures? Like hugging some grubby plebes while wearing hand-me-down coveralls before getting back inside pf her air-conditioned limo? Where is her flag pin? Why does she hate America? (See the entire article Here)

–By Danielle Belton, author of “The Black Snob”

Oooh America… lol.