Archive for the Family Category

Another year gone by…

Posted in beautiful, Family, friends, happyness, Life, memories, music, quotes, The Future, The Holidays, Uncategorized on 12/31/2010 by asante

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don’t ask why.

It’s not a question,
but a lesson learned in time.

It’s something unpredictable
but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

–Green Day

2010 has come and gone.

May the upcoming year bring you bigger and better things than the one before it.

[in 5…….. 4…….. 3…….. 2…….. 1……..]


happy new year!


Series of Random Thoughts…

Posted in catching up, Family, friends, happyness, Home, inspired, Life, Me, randomness, The Holidays on 12/01/2010 by asante

Hey y’all!

I don’t care what the calendar says. Winter is here. It’s freakin’ cooooooold!!! >:-O As a consequence, my brain/creativity is somewhat stalled. So instead of a coherent post, what have I got for ya today? Basically a brain-ticker-tape. lol.  Sue me. #lehgo!

Home was amazing. Seriously, Atlanta’s got NOTHIN’ on the DMV. I miss my fam and friends already. Can’t WAIT for a whole 2-ish weeks for Christmas/New Years!

I make a mean turkey. Seriously. Ask about me. Not a leftover anywhere. Mmmmmm Thanksgiving :)

Speaking of food, clearly I’ve been indulging lately. +8 lbs since this summer… Eeek! Back on my gym grind I go. Can’t be a chubbster in the New Year lol.

Music currently in heavy rotation in my head… “Pretty Girl Rock” (Keri Hlison), “Ay Yo” (Melanie Fiona), “What’s My Name” (Rhianna/Drake), “Rap Song” (T-Pain/Rick Ross), “Closer”(Goapele), “I’m Single” (Lil’ Wayne), “pretty much every song they sing on GLEE, such as “Teenage Dream” (Katy Perry), “F**k You” (Cee-Lo), “Hey Soul Sister” (Train)….. But as always I’m always down for new suggestions. Bring em’ on!

Today is World AIDS Day. Do your part. Donate, get tested, protect yourself, educate, wear red, whatever it is you can manage. Silence and stigma are things of the past. Whether your life has been touched by this disease or not (I personally have an uncle who passed last year from HIV-related sickness, after transmitting it to his wife.) this is a GLOBAL cause. Not one to be ignored.

All my graduate school applications are DONE! Now the waiting game begins. My top 3 (in order): Northwestern, Columbia, U. Maryland. Time to call on that power of positive thinking! Interviews WILL happen, and there WILL be awesomeness emanating from my pores. Still got my fingers crossed though. lol

My hair has stalled, I think. I’ve said this before, I know, and it turned out not to be true. But I swear it has stopped growing. lol. Although the front bit (that was darn-near bald when I initially BC’d) has come back and almost caught up, I feel like I’ve been hovering around 5-6 inches for EVAH. But it looks/feels healthy…. So maybe it’s in my head. lol. Oh yeah, and I totally missed my 1-Year Afro-versary, but it was 10-23-10 :) Still kinda can’t believe I had the ‘nads to chop all my hair off lol!

I’m a total Scrooge this year and I don’t know why. I’m not in the Holiday mood at ALL. Haven’t listened to a single Christmas song yet. Haven’t changed the decor in my cube (ok that’s a lie, one of the ladies on my floor gave my adorbs pumpkins a mean side-eye this morning, and I finally put them away lol). Have no idea what I want under the tree. Just…. blah. Got 3 weeks to change that. lol

Saw my ex for the first time since we ended things. And it was very…. comfortable. Surprisingly so, actually. I built it up in my head to be this super awkward encounter, but it was so easy-going. We had coffee, caught up on life-in-general, and parted ways with mucho-positivity. I really missed him. I have high hopes that we can be good friends :)

I’m seriously pondering a 6th (!!!!) tattoo. I don’t have an exact design in place yet, but I do have the spot all picked out. Top of my left shoulder. I’m thinking something family related? Who knows. I’m such an addict. lol.

That’s all I got for today. Hope you all are starting your December’s off right! You have 30 days left to make 2010 worth it. Take advantage :)

black is beautiful.

Posted in beautiful, Family, happyness, Love, Me, memories, randomness on 11/16/2010 by asante

I’ll say it loud and proud: I love my skintone.

Dark, chocolate-y, ebony, whatever you want to call it, I have it, and I love it. I inherited my daddy’s super-deep-dark African complexion, and I plan on rocking the hell outta all this melanin for years and years to come. No hate whatsoever to my friends and readers of a lighter complexion, but personally I think there are few things more fantastic than deep brown skin.

I think it’s clear that the whole Darkskin/Lightskin dichotomy never really affected me that much. I’m lucky enough that it was never a major issue for me, at least as far a insecurities go. I scoffed at my family members back home overseas who would ask us to send them “lightening” creams. I was fully aware that I was dark skinned. And I embraced it. No problem going out to the beach or pool basking in the sun. It still baffles me to this day how much weight some people place on this, how much of their story is defined by feelings of inadequacies based in the deepness or paleness of their skin.

I saw this video today, and it really stuck with me; seeing women of all backgrounds still facing the same struggle of feeling like the deep tone of their skin makes them somewhat inferior. STILL. In 2010. Like, what?! I thought we’d be off that by now :(

It’s disheartening, to say the least. But I do commend the women in the video for not only approaching acceptance and self love of their hues, but doing their best to share those sentiments with others :) (that little girl just broke my heart!!!) I’m grateful to have been raised in a household where it was never a major pre-0ccupation. I escaped that particular brand of self-doubt, and managed to emerge not only with a level of acceptance, but a high level of adoration for it :) I really hope that others will start to realize that there is so much to be said for loving what you’ve got, and can get to where I’m at about this particular issue. Self love rocks!

I remember waaaaay back in high school, one day in art class, my teacher Mr. Newman was discussing mixing colors to recreate flesh tones, as we were painting a live model that week. As the only “other” in the room, (I attended an overwhelmingly predominantly white private school, so people who looked like me were few and far-between. Hence the high level of bouge I proudly display today. lol.) he decided to choose me as a guinea pig to show how to mix skin tones. He took my forearm, an array of paint, and a palette knife, and began mixing colors right there against my skin, trying to match the color, all the while lamenting the fact that our model was caucasian, and in his opinion, unfortunately her skin wasn’t as interesting as mine. 20 minutes later, he had added blues, reds, yellows, coming close, but not quite. It was a crazy scene, and took a lot of turp to get off, but it was a fantastic display of just how dynamic dark-brown skin can be. Paleness be damned!!

That moment stuck with me, and to this day I take every opportunity to relish in all my black-coffee-colored naturally Coppertone-d awesomeness. I love the way the sun makes my skin all glow-y. I get super excited when I get a lil’ tan and I’m even darker than usual. I play it up, show it off, and otherwise flaunt it in any way possible. It makes me giggle seeing people baking all day under the sun trying to get what I’ve got. Deep brown/red/yellow/blue/black-toned deep dark chocolatey skin. I laugh it off when someone tries to hate on dark skinned people, because I know deep down it’s not disdain, it’s envy. Not as dark as me? You maaaad lol. It’s ok. Have a tissue.

I know I’ll never be a “redbone” or “lightskinn-ded” or “bright”. And that’s how I like it. thankyouverymuch.

my black is b-e-a-UTIFUL. Period.

I think it’s clear that the whole Dark/Light dichotomy never really affected me that much. I’m lucky enough that it was never a major issue for me, at least as far a insecurities go. I scoffed at my family members back home who would ask us to send them “lightening” creams. I was fully aware that I was dark skinned. And I embraced it. No problem going out to the beach or pool basking in the sun.

we. are. family.

Posted in 2+3, Family, funny, happyness, Home, Love, memories, Uncategorized on 10/07/2010 by asante

I grew up surrounded  by girls. Me and my two younger sisters (who were all “supposed” to be boys. lol). COUNTLESS female cousins (literally, countless. Real difficult to keep track of my clan lol.). Six years of single-sex education. Seriously, my formative years were all about female bonding. Well, maybe not bonding so much. But anyways. Today I’m focusing on the 4 women who lived in the same four walls as me.

Me and my sisters and my mom. To this day, it has not ceased to amaze me how four people, who by all science-y genetic arguments, should be very similar, can be so unbelievably different. Confounds the nature AND the nurture junk. But it does give a great foundation for some conflict, lol. Lets run it down, shall we?

Well there’s my Mother first, of course. Bubbly, talkative, lovingly goofy and just a liiiittle bit dramatic. Loves to sing (off-key, mind you :), a big ole’ bundle of love and smooches wrapped in an unfailingly strong, sometimes terrifying, and loyal exterior, my mother pretty much holds my family together. She’s the one who beat the sense into us when we needed it, and drove 3 cars into the dirt (Civic, Windstar, Montero) supporting our every want, need, aspiration and desire, along with a few unhealthy shopping habits :)

Next? Me. Oldest child, a.k.a. “#1.” Y’all already know. lol. Moving on…

#2 is by far the most outspoken of the bunch. She’s LOUD. In the best ways possible. Unique, daring, unapologetic, angsty and raw, she is that IDGAF chick throwing up the “rockstar” who you wish you could kick it with. Neon sneakers, red lipstick and leopard print? Check, check and check. lol. My complete and utter opposite, we NEVER got along growing up, we were always at odds about something or other. But she is FIERCE. lol.

#3 probably outpaces me in one respect: she is definitely more bougie than me. Don’t think it’s possible? Seriously. She is all things bouge and valley personified lol. Quieter and a little more acquiescent, she’s the most mellow of us all. Laid back and chillin’ in the cut, she’s effortlessly relaxed at all times. A little more like me, but because she’s the baby, she got everything she wanted. So it was easy for her to be chill lol.

See what I mean though? Some similarities, but overall, we are completely, utterly, and sometimes irritatingly different people. From the same family. And the same house. *cue the chaos* lol.

Understandably, we butted heads more than most. I was always confused as to why my friends with one sister, or two sisters with greater age differences seemed to get along so much better than the ladies in my house. Now looking back, I realize there was just too much going on in my house. We were too different, too close in age, there was just way too much personality in one house lol. (My mother was mid-twenties when she had me, and there’s only 9 years between me and #3. So it’s a tight age gap.). And then you throw in the fact that we’re all loud, African, and a little bit crazy? I think you get the picture.

Growing up in my house meant operating on the understanding that with this many other personalities and individuals vying for center stage, the only way to get there was by bumping the person currently in the spotlight. Girls by nature are always at each other’s throats. And we were sisters. lol.  Talk about upping the ante.

So we argued, fought tooth and nail, for a couple minutes to shine, before the next person decided it was time for you to keep it moving. But I definitely don’t think this is a bad thing. If anything, I think it (and my mother) taught us each to thrive on competition. I mean when you’re constantly up against such dynamos in your own household, the rest of the world can kick rocks. Getting your shine on in my house meant that once you walked out the door, nobody could tell us nuthin’. Seriously. I don’t think I would have liked so much the person we each became if it wasn’t for our tumultuous childhood lol.

Eventually, the chaos subsided. I moved out, #2 jumped the pond, and #3 gets to kick  back and conquer highschool with the effortless calm she always had, with the peace of mind that her nutty older sisters are far-far-away. We understand each other a lot better now. A more distant perspective on those years way back when all we could do was fight has, in my opinion, made us closer.

My little sisters and my mom are amazing women. I may not say it enough, but they really are. I cherish every scuffle, shouting match, slammed door, and smart-ass comment lol. We’re a bunch of born n’ bred fighters, and with that kind of history behind us, there is nothing we can’t take on. So don’t try us. ‘Cause we’re crazy. lol.


Posted in beautiful, Family, happyness, inspired, Love, news, The Wonderful Internet on 08/25/2010 by asante

Hey blogfriends :)

Now, as artistic as I try to be, I have very little hand-eye coordination when there isn’t a pencil in my hand lol. And that makes my lovely Sarai’s crochet creations that much more amazing to me! My dear cousin is the owner and talent behind beaniemaya, where she makes hats, baby toys, booties, all manner of things! Please check out her fantastic work, and her Etsy site as well :) She is based out of Memphis, and will soon be selling her creations at a local farmers market. Click the link for her blog below to find out more info.

Rocking my very own slice of beaniemaya awesomeness :)

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Posted in Family, happyness, Life, Me, quotes, randomness, revelations, Uncategorized on 08/06/2010 by asante

I crave it. lol.

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that my head likes to make everyday conversations, interactions, and situations painfully more complex than they have to. Everything needs to be juuuust so, or I get tense, anxious, irritable, and generally wrecked. I swear it’s not healthy to have my anxiety triggered that easily lol… *sigh*

What I wish is that I could just learn to let my days and weeks be simple. Not to the point of monotony, but I think I could definitely benefit from being a little more carefree and turning my brain off every once in a while. Stop overanalyzing things, stop pondering every permutation and variable of my life, and just be more carefree, ya know? I know what types of things will make me anxious, and not saying that I can overcome all of it instantly, but I think I need to really work on being at peace in a little chaos every once in a while.

“God, grant us the Serenity to accept things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer

Stop planning every microsecond of my day 2 hours in advance. Stop the in-depth analysis of a simple message (or on the contrary, the abscence of it when I expected it). Stop fussing over things that I can’t change.

And just kind of run with it from there, ya know? Stop making life more complicated for myself when it doesn’t need to be. Ultimately, the things I HAVE to do for my general well being is a short list. Eat (healthy). Sleep. Work. Take care of my dog. Nurture the relationships I have with those I love. And most importantly, be happy. I think when I can more readily stick to this simple list, the rest of my universe will arrange itself as it should.

#dearself: Keep it simple, stupid.

What can I say? I’m a Daddy’s Girl.

Posted in Family, happyness, Home, Life, The Holidays, Uncategorized on 06/20/2010 by asante

Make sure you do something nice for dear old Dad today.

Happy Father’s Day to all!

Me and my Dad, circa 1989