Archive for the F Category


Posted in beautiful, F, friends, happyness, Life, Love, Me, quotes, randomness, revelations on 07/22/2010 by asante

Such a dramatic topic, lol.

But when it comes down to it, we all want it, right? Or we’re in it, or we’re running through several alcoholic beverages cursing its existence. lol. Love is a crazy thing. From every angle.

Those of y’all who know me (or keep up with the blog :) know that I’ve been in a relationship for a little over 4 years now. And though I hear a lot of chatter from my friends about how we are the “greatest couple” or “the last hope” etc. nobody’s perfect. Definitely not F and me. We’ve had our ups and downs, just like every other couple has. It just goes to show that you can’t possibly understand a relationship and how it functions unless you’re in it. It’s a completely different world lol, and no two are the same.

For my part, I try not to give too much specific relationship advice. I don’t want to come off as arrogant, and hell, it’s not like I know what I’m doing half the time. Bottom line, nothing worth having comes without working for it. I mean just thinking of some of the relationships my friends are in, NONE of them are without issues, but the people in them are willing to work through the hard stuff and keep it going, because they love each other. Of course one would hope that they’re not settling, (because settling for a major factor in your life is clearly an AWFUL idea) but really who are we to judge? All I know is what I see from the outside perspective, and there’s likely a whole facet of that relationship I don’t see.

The tough stuff is what i think really defines the strength of your relationship. A wise man once said:

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
– Martin Luther King Jr. 1963

Everyone wants their relationship to just be all hugs and kisses and flowers and sparkly gifts and naughty bedroom scenes all the time. It’s not like that lol. Nuh-uh. Anybody who has been in a significant relationship will tell you that’s a fact. But it’s how you approach the bad stuff that determines whether you can get back to the good stuff, am I right?

F and I have definitely had our issues. My friends probably wouldn’t believe me, just because to them, we seem like this couple that can do no wrong lol. But we’ve had our share of hardships. But so far, we haven’t come across anything that was bigger than our feelings for each other, and we have managed to come out stronger on the other side. It’s not perfect. Trust me. But it works.

But it doesn’t have to be perfect to make you happy. Definitely not. Sometimes it’s more about the dumb little things more than anything else lol. Like how F will let me ramble on and on even though we both know damned well he would rather be listening to anything else in the world lol. Or how I actually can really enjoy watching him play his video games (“Prototype”, “Arkham Asylum” and “God of War” are pretty intense, I can’t lie lol). What’s really important is that on some level that nobody else needs to understand, you each understand that the other person is exactly what you want in a partner. They make you happy, and neither of you give a damn what the rest of the world thinks.

Because they don’t matter. The only one who does, is the person on the other end of that late night phonecall, or that person with their fingers alternating with yours, or that person who will drive across town to kill the spider you found in your closet, or send you the exact message you needed to hear to get you through your day.

I’ve decided I need to stop judging others relationships. Because just like nobody knows everything about mine, I have no idea about theirs. Who am I to say that “she can do better” or “he doesn’t really love her” or any of that other mess that I tend to spout from time to time. Because I don’t know. I wouldn’t want people talking mess about me and F either. All that anybody needs to know about someone else’s partnership is that the two of them care enough about each other that they put in the necessary work to make it continue to work every single day. And that’s commendable.

L.O.V.E. It may not happen when you’re expecting it, but when it does, you’ll know. Because you’ll both be ready to do whatever it takes.


Apologies and Explanations and Catch-Up

Posted in catching up, F, FML, friends, Home, Life, Me, randomness, rant, ugh., vacation time on 07/09/2010 by asante

Tsk tsk tsk me. Bad blogger. lol

I manage to get all these new awesome fun readers and what do I do? Stop posting. lol. Sorry y’all, but my brain has effectively checked out, and I honestly haven’t been able to think of anything to write. So in an effort to make amends, here’s a definitive, visually-stimulating list of what has been occupying the space between my ears (since properly operating gray-matter is not exactly cutting it lately. lol. excuse the nerdyness.)

1. I’m going on vacation next week folks. And not a “visit people in other cities” type trip. I’m talking sun, sand, drinks, and nothing constructive expected of me other than deepening my skintone. And it’s pretty much consumed my thoughts. lol. I CANNOT wait, I really needed a legit break from life as I know it. *happy dance*

2. So as an aspiring academic, it significantly behooves me to be literarily productive. Unfortunately the snarky folks at a certain journal called “B_________P_________” (I probably shouldn’t publicly badmouth them… In case I need them in the future….) decided to reject my article submission. After a good rousing round of choice 4-letter words screamed within the confines of my apartment, I’ve done my best to get over it and start working on making it even more awesome than before. Take that, reviewers.

3. F and I had a minor-ish fight over the past few days, resulting from a few weeks of a veritable communication breakdown. Of course in any long term, long distance relationship, communication is essential, I think we both just needed a reminder about that. Thankfully all is well again, and things are back to normal. And he’s coming to visit soon!!! (Get your handsome self down here, ASAP, mister. lol. ♥ you :)

[Note: clearly the above picture is NOT me and F…. lol.]


I’m movinnnnnn. Not any large move, jsut across town to a more affordable apartment. But it still requires the boxes and the trucks and the tape and the easily bribed male friends to pick up boxes and furniture and such. *sigh*. Maybe I should start packing… hrm…

Anyways, that is my lame attempt at a photographic explanation to why I haven’t written a significant blog post in almost a week. Here’s hoping I can continue riding the popularity wave from my “Freshly Pressed” post lol.

Anyways, I promise to re-insert my brain into my skull sometime between now aind July 20th. But most likely later than that. #whoops.

Later blogfriends!

Weekend Craziness Catch-Up

Posted in catching up, F, graduation, Life, Love, Me, music, news, weekend on 05/18/2010 by asante

Sooooooo I’ve been a bad blogger… lol
I know I’ve been kinda MIA the past week, but I had a good reason:

My Graduate, F :)

I was all types of wrapped up in my boo’s SECOND graduation weekend craziness this weekend lol. Not to mention spending some long overdue QT with him. Put him on a plane back to Michigan this morning (*sadface*) But I’m so proud of him! Snaps for my Chemical Engineer :)

Anywhoo, is pulling out hit after hit this morning, and I’m feeling the following song in particular. Remember back in middle school when we all took sides on the whole “The Boy Is Mine” Monica v. Brandy deal? Monica won. BIG TIME. Her newest album is fantastic, and this is one of my favorite songs on it. Look it up if you haven’t heard it, she also previews it on her show “Still Standing” (yes, I watched a few episodes, stop side-eyeing me lol.). #TeamMonica!!!

“Love All Over Me” – Monica 

Must not have been paying attention,
I stepped right on it didn’t even notice how deep I was.
I went from the ground to the top of the cloud,
And now as i look down i see where i fell into your arms…

Now I’ve got love all over me,
Baby you touch every part of me
I’ve got love all over me,
And I don’t want to get it off,
I’m completely covered up in your love…

Even my skin is changing,
I’m feeling warmer no more icey blue hearts for me.
You put the color back in my life,
And now where there was black and white,
Oooh love made me irridescent.

Now I’ve got love all over me,
Baby you touch Every part of me,
I’ve got love all over me,
And I don’t want to get it off,
I’m completely covered up in your love…

Before your love baby I was muddy,
Filthy with pain till you took it from me.
You showered me with a new beginning,
Now I’m clean…
Took me by surprise when you ran up on me,
I came to life baby in that moment.
You put your hands on my heart and baby now it beats…

Now I’ve got love all over me,
Baby you touch every part of me,

I’ve got love all over me,
And I don’t want to get it off,
I’m completely covered up in your love…

Living a life of passion.

Posted in beautiful, F, happyness, hobbies, Life, Love, randomness, rant, revelations, The Wonderful Internet on 05/03/2010 by asante
Hey everyone :)
Today’s post was brought to you by:

1. The Book of Awesome, inspired by the website “1000 Awesome Things” a remarkably sweet and inspirational blog-turned-book that has revolutionized my mornings. How can you not smile first thing in the morning when pondering the everyday “awesomeness” of things like #520 “When a baby falls asleep on you”
or #990 Picking up a q and a u at the same time in Scrabble” or #816 When the late-night pizza order arrives really, really early or my personal favorite, #743 Taking your high heels off at the end of the night and walking home in bare feet. I read their daily entries every morning, and it’s a really fun way to remind myself that it doesn’t have to all be academic insanity all day every day, sometimes I can just step back and relate to the post and it brings a moment of serenity to me. AWESOME! lol. No seriously, check it out.

2.  One Week Job, a college grad’s excursion to find a job that he loves. His method? Take a different job for a week, every week, for one whole year. Practical? Hardly. Crazy? Possibly. But kind of exciting at the same time. Check out his journey here.

I’m sure EVERYONE who just graduated into this stinkpot of an economy has had that moment where they had to make that decision: take the job that pays the bills over the one that would make them happy and leave them living with their parents. lol. I consider myself fortunate that I’ve landed in a job that covers both my interests and my expenses, but sometimes I feel like it lacks passion. I mean when I get THAT patient interaction that really moves me and I can tell I made an important, if tiny impact on that person’s situation, I can definitely feel it, and it’s incredibly rewarding. However it’s not every day. I know I sometimes find myself thinking, is this it? If I choose this path, will it still inspire me the way it does today 5 years from now? 10 years? 20?

I did my best to help F through this a while back. It came down to a senior class that would look good on his transcript when he applied for work as a chemical engineer, which is what his degree is in, or a class that fell within the realm of psychology, an interest that rubbed off on him from me lol. He ended up taking both, and was really glad he did. I think it was the balance of doing what he had to do along with doing what he wanted to do that made that semester a fulfilling one, especially since by the end his interest in the psych class gave him the energy to muster through the engineering one. 

And when it comes down to it, that’s what I think living a life of passion is about. The majority of us are caught between what we want to to and what we have to do. When you dip too far into the side of what you have to do though, I think you lose a lot of yourself, in many ways. You always see cheesy movie endings where the stuffy politician has a orchestrally-accompanied change of heart when he remembers his childhood dream of being a rodeo-cowboy or something like that, a dream he lost in his money-hungry search for power etc. etc. Dumb example, I know, lol, but the message is in there somewhere. Somewhere along the line though, it can happen to all of us, I think. But it doesn’t have to!!

My message for today is to remember to temper the drudgery of your every day obligations with something that gives your life purpose, and imparts meaning. Take some time every day to do something YOU want to do. Because do you really want to wake up 20 years from now and look back on a wasted opportunity, years of unfulfillment? Life is full of things you HAVE to do. Take a break from the bills and the classes and the taxes and find a moment of happiness. Whatever it takes. Learn to play the sitar in Bora Bora or do cartwheels across Times Square or go swimming with some dangerous creature in some unknown body of water or learn to read some obscure language that nobody else understands or live in a tree in Ecuador or write a book about rodeo clowns or exclusively photograph the left ears of some endangered animal SOMETHING lol (I think I’ve out-randomed myself lol).

Find a way to divulge passion from your life. Before it’s too late.

Another cryptic late night melancholy post…

Posted in F, Life, Love, Me, music, quotes, sadface, ugh. on 04/09/2010 by asante

Not in a great mood… provides a wonderful foundation for insomnia. Stressed about my test, stressed about my appointment monday, stressed about what happens after August…. None of those are doing me any good. Not coherent enough to verbalize the chaos in my head at the moment, so I’ll let Alice Smith- “Secrets” serve as an allusion for now.

The morning after the only laughter
‘Is that which echoes from the night before
I’m feeling broken, words already spoken
Lay crumpled, and hurt on the floor

Except for those that I should not have said
Guarded secrets locked inside my head
Oh, what did I tell
Precious gems entrusted to me
Those were struggling to be free
Uncontrolled from my mouth they fell

Oh, secrets, some mine, some his, some hers, secrets

The truth’s so easy, ’cause I’m so lazy
It comes so naturally
Oops, I told him just where you’ve been
Perhaps I should not have told him

Please in future don’t burden me
With your lies and your secrecy
I deal with my own
Because from my mouth they fell
I have trouble keeping things on the DL
When they’re not seeds that I’ve sown

Oh, secrets, some mine, some his, some hers, secrets
Oh, secrets, some mine, some his, some hers

Thought I’d keep it underneath my hat
But temptation won me over just like that
Thank you not for the extra guilt I got
When you said what you said
I’m just a child, wild and free
I need the time to take care of me
Take the time to care for number one so

Please in future don’t burden me
With your lies and your secrecy
I deal with my own
Because from my mouth they fell
I have trouble keeping things on the DL
When they’re the seeds that I’ve sown

Oh, secrets, some mine, some his, some hers, secrets
Oh, secrets, some mine, some his, some hers…

It’s been a loooooooong time lol…

Posted in F, happyness, Love, Me on 04/02/2010 by asante

Four years to be exact. Since me and F got together :)

We have come a long way, but we have so much more to come!
Happy 4-Year Anniversary baby, I love you with all my heart!

Various Updates….

Posted in catching up, Dogs, F, friends, hair, happyness, Me, randomness on 03/05/2010 by asante

Hey y’all! Happy March :)

I hope you all are having better weather than we are down in the deep south…. If we don’t break 70 degrees soon, I’m going to freak. lol

Hair Update: So I’m mildly convinced that my hair has stopped growing… but I’m going to actively convince myself that it’s all in my head. lol. I’ve pretty much nailed down a routine that seems to be working, and my hair feels moisturized and healthy. But I’ve dreamed of a massive block-views-in-movie-theaters-way-too-much-ridiculous-hair-for-my-own-good ‘Fro, so it’s entirely possible that I’m just being impatient lol.

Current Routine:
Henna treatment: Every 3-4 weeks
Deep Treatment: Once a week. I made my own this month: shea butter, castor and jojoba oils, glycerin, and a generous amount of Suave Naturals Condish; followed by a chilly water rinse
Daily Moisturizer: some combination of my spray bottle mix (Suave Naturals Condish, currently Wild Cherry Blossom, but I’ll be going back to Ocean Breeze once this bottle is empty, water, jojoba oil, and a smidge of castor oil and glycerine) and Lustrasilk Olive Oil Cholesterol (both do wonnnnnnnnders for my twist-outs. )
Co-Wash: every 2-3 days or so, using Either Aussie “Moist” or Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Condish, followed up with Wild Growth Hair Oil and a handful of my Shealoe blend
Shampoo: Raaaaaaaaaaaarely, usually after henna treatments, but I use Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap, which I love lots and lots :)


It seems like a lot, but it’s been working, so I can deal lol. most recent pic of my mini-fro:

And yes. I have been taking most of my hair pics in the bathroom at work. don’t judge me lol. I have noticed that my edges are (finally) returning though!!! Which was one of my main goals after the horrendous result of my last non-natural salon experience. If you’re feeling supportive, please reassure me that I’m not crazy, and I won’t have  TWA for the rest of my life lol.

New mantra: “I will NOT obsess about my hair (at least not in a crazy way). It IS growing, I just need to be patient.”

What else is new……Oh, right. Though all my most artsy-fartsy-culturally curious friends have sadly departed the ATL area (I miss you tons KE and BL!!!!) I’ve decided to make a date with myself this weekend to go to Apache Cafe and enjoy their weekly spoken word event this Sunday. I haven’t been to Apache in literally over a year, so I’m hella excited. I’m feeling an itch to get my neo-soul on for once in a looooooooooong time. *smile*

In other news…. though we had an AMAZING weekend together, sadly F has returned to the Arctic (a.k.a. Ann Arbor, MI lol. ) Ugh as icky as this whole long distance bull has been, it does happen to make the visits we do get soooo much more special. It is true what they say: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. I may be more irritable with him over the phone when the lack of face-to-face contact is getting on my nerves, but as annoying as I can get, clearly I still love him to bits :) We had a great time though; pedicures, amaaaaaaaaaaazing dinner (Everybody in the ATL area needs to find an excuse to go to Wisteria in the Inman Park area…. fan TASTIC food.) shopping, wine and desserts,  late night walks in Buckhead, goofing off with our “baby” Tiger (lol jk, thought Tiger was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay excited to see him again.). It was a great weekend, and as always it was amazing getting to spend time with my love :) Still can’t believe our 4-Year Anniversary is coming up… (!!!!!!). Time definitely flies.

Anyhoo, I didn’t want to be a negligent blogger, since in my head there are actually people who read this regularly lol. Thanks for the support blogworld. Catch y’all sometime later :)