Ph.D. bound…

…Well, I will be. Eventually. Once I complete my 4-6 years of indentured servitude, commonly known as Graduate School.

Blech.

Yep, through the grace of some persistently misfiring synapse in my brain, I have the unfaltering desire to go to graduate school. *gulp*.

You could very easily call this story something along the lines of “For Colored Girls who Considered a Doctorate when a Bachelors’ Wasn’t Enuf.” lol.

(I’m silly.)

I’ve heard all sorts of horror stories and naysayers, and even some current grad students who good-natured-ly coax me to run as far as possible in the opposite direction, I really do want to go.

But these applications must DIE.

Applications of any sort just make me painfully anxious. I’ve put these off for months because they just make me twitch with terror. The possibility of making a mistake on one of them that will cost me the possibility of that option, or just the simple fact that someone will be judging me on paper (and I’ll be honest, my academic career thus far doesn’t look so hot on paper…. eek.) It makes me cringe and twitch and want to crawl underneath my desk into  a little ball and drown in unbearable freaked-out-ed-ness.

Tons of people tell me I don’t need to worry too much, because I’m a super minority. A.) I’m black. and B.) I’m female. Not to many of me applying for doctorate Neuroscience programs. So I do have that w0rking in my favor.  But I just don’t like the idea of having to prove myself to somebody. And then the COST of sending these all out? Don’t even get me started. It makes me want to cry a little bit. $380 in application fees. $207 to send test scores. About $100 to send my transcripts. And I only end up going to ONE of these schools, where tuition will be free. #WTFBelanie. Why are they so intent on taking my hard earned money from me?!

Well, I just needed a place to rant. Impending graduate studies matriculation is making me crazy. *Crossing my fingers for a Northwestern interview…….*

Scratch that. Power of positive thinking in this beeyotch!! I WILL impress Dr. Chiao. I WILL get in to Northwestern. I will move to Chicago and be fantastic (with a side of grad-student-broke). I will defy/rebuke anyone and anything that stands in my way. Haters, back up. Future doctor right here.

Just think… Asante K_________, B.S. M.S. Ph.D.

Yes please.

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