Rachet.

Seriously. lol.

Ohhhh the hoodrachetassness that Atlanta females are capable of. Especially when some half-famous mostly-fine celeb is in town.  For those unfamiliar with the term, let me clarify:

hood•ra•chet•ass•ness (noun.)  – 1. The wildly unnecessary, uncouth, and ghetto behavior of an individual in response to some insignificant incident. 2. A primarily African-American deep-southern-bred mode of behavior that displays a woeful lack of God-given sense.

Yea. Merriam-Webster, hope you’re paying attention.

I still can’t get over the foolishness that went down last night. Me and some friends of mine decided to head to Opera last night (one of the many fine nightclubs in the city of Atlanta). It was my turn to drive, and I was willing happy to do it. (Sidenote: Those of you who don’t know me, let me be frank. I drive a lil’ crazy. Not SUPER crazy, but lets just say that I rarely obey speed limits. And quelling road rage is a constant struggle. And I’ve been known to scream/curse/yell/berate other drivers on a frequent basis. Yeah.) Now with the particular brand of stupid that characterizes many Atlanta drivers, I get a lil’ agitated on the roads. And moreso when people are rude for no reason.

So when it came time to attempt to turn into the badly-placed parking garage, and folk were wasting my time? I pulled my D.C. Driving* Skills out of my left pocket. I cut a chick off. *Kanye Shrug*

*D.C. Driving: The superior automobile operation capabilities that can only be taught by earning a license on the streets of the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia Area). Examples include: executing perfect illegal U-turns without having to re-adjust for the curb, effortless parallel parking, knowledge of when your brakes aren’t necessary, and the ability to pull off crazy driving moves without collisions/getting shot at. Also, the ability to navigate without ending up in SW D.C./Anacostia.*

She was NOT happy. Apparently she thought that leaving 10 feet of space in front her car was prohibitive. But hey. It happens. Some time or another, you’ll be hanging out behind the wheel, not paying enough attention to the road, and someone’s gonna cut you off. Does that warrant her reaction?

No. Heeeeeell No.

She and her friends (three cars worth!!) decided that the best course of action would be to spend the evening FOLLOWING us. They parked near us, followed us around the dance floor, trailed us to the bathroom…. ALL NIGHT. All the while Whisper-Thugging like they had nothing better to do with their evening.

Bish what?! lol

Seriously. You got into the parking deck, you got into the club, you may have even gotten a glimpse of that half-celeb who doesn’t give a rat’s tail about your simple self. No harm, no foul. Please find something more productive to do with your life than trying to intimidate me. And I say trying, because you don’t want none of this. Don’t make ME get rachet. lol.

Moral of the story: Atlanta chicks have cornered the market on hoodrachetassness. And maybe I just need to avoid club nights when they’re ALL trying to throw themselves at one of the 12 decent men in this city. Meh. Life choices.

< /rant >

The End. lol.

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