Why I didn’t go to my high school reunion.

Yes folks, I skipped it.

The letters and the phonecalls and the Facebook messages just kept on coming, and I ignored every last one of ’em.

It’s been 5 years since I kissed the hallowed halls of Holton goodbye, and despite a few purposeful visits, I’ve really had no desire to see most of my fellow Oh-Fivers. Now that’s not to say I didn’t love and miss other things about my highschool life, it’s just the people. Let me explain.

My highschool experience wasn’t exactly the same as most. Very small, preppy private school surrounded by some of the most spoiled girls the DMV had to offer. All the bougie qualities you see in me today, I learned from Holton lol. And while I loved a lot about the school, it was my classmates that really just drove me nuts. I’ll admit, I had some good friends while I was there, but the fact that so miserably few of those “friendships” lasted past the end of Senior year was as good an indication as any that there was no legit basis for many of those relationships. Mostly because I spent the majority of my Holton years acting like a totally different person than I actually was.

If any of my Holton people were to see me now, they probably wouldn’t recognize me. Not physically, per se (although the hair will probably shock most of them lol). But I learned very soon after graduation that these girls who admittedly, I was never 100% bonded to, were not the type to be lifelong friends. We had very little in common. But whether it was just my own lack of self-confidence, or just the awkward timing of my entry to the school (coming in 4 years after everyone else has become best friends is not ideal, fyi) we never bonded in a way that made me say “these girls will be my best friends forever”. 6 years of my life with these people, and after the obligatory sadness and omigosh I graduated moments, I walked away and found that I felt…. nothing.

Don’t miss ’em. (Well, most of them. There are a few who I wouldn’t mind seeing again, but I didn’t realize those relationships unfortunately until it was too late.) But the vast majority of them clearly don’t miss me either. How could we miss each other when we barely know each other?

I think if I took the opportunity to reunite with them, there’s a slim chance a few of them I could actually get along with, if they had the opportunity to meet the person I’ve become, the real me. But I feel like many of them were, and probably still are, too small minded. That may be what deterred me in the first place, how would these people so hopelessly stuck in their ways possibly embrace someone who was, well, different? Never took the chance. Sadly, the tiny closed off world of my alma mater was a breeding ground for social and educational lemmings. (Did I mention that I was one of only TWO ’05 graduates to leave the Mid Atlantic for college? Yea. Not joking.)

Though I’ll always appreciate what I learned at Holton, that part of my life is not an episode I’m in the mood to re-run. Everytime I picture having actually attended, I get this entirely hilarious mental clip of me drunk and badmouthing about 95% of the people in the room lol. Definitely would have rocked the boat, I’d say. Holton is in my past, and as for now, I’d like to keep it that way.

Though I’d totally go back to see some of my least favorites really, REALLY fat in 15 years or so. lol. Reunion 2025? who knows. ;-)

…Thoughts of you we’ll cherish ever, be we far or nigh,
Weaving in our hearts and lives, Blue and White for aye.

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