Daydreamin….

Hey y’all, how have you been? :)

I just had what was probably one of the laziest and most relaxing weekends in recent memory, and going to work this morning was SUCH a struggle… lol. Such is life. But gotta pay the bills, right?

Took advantage of last Friday’s b-e-a-UTIFUL weather and left work early. Best decision I’ve made in a long time lol. Took my little rascal of a dog to the park (lol) to soak up some sun and wear him out (which worked marvelously lol.) He had a blast, I got some usage out of a new sundress, and all around it was a great afternoon. My bougie Buckhead/Midtown neighbors were out in DROVES I tell ya, it was crazy. It was about time we got some decent weather down here (petition to permanently revoke the “Hot-lanta” nickname? Because it’s just false advertising these days.) Case in point: It’s 37 degrees and snowing this morning. WTF?!

Friday night was a low-key outing with some college friends, who I haven’t seen in a while (one moved away, one who I’m not on spectacular terms with recently, and the other I just haven’t heard from in a minute). The end was a bit irritating and disappointing (long story, don’t feel like getting in to it) but if you average out the entire evening, it was good lol. (Math can be useful sometimes lol)

Saturday was another nice relaxing day, hung out in my apartment mostly, attempted to go to my friend’s BBQ but it was soooooo far away, that it didn’t work out. Did make it to a work BBQ though, which was great (my co-workers/superiors are ridiculously entertaining lol.). When’s the last time YOUR boss suggested the whole lab light up a few joints and discuss the meaning of life? Yea that’s what I thought. lol. Be jealous! I will be really sad to leave this job behind though.

Same boss did a great job of lighting a fire under my butt last week as far as my future is concerned though. A whoooole lot of deadlines that need to be set for myself. I did manage to FINALLY set a date for my GRE! Take that, procrastination. lol. Now I just need to start studying… *sigh*. All this talk about grad school just seems to put this heart-clenching panic on me though. Just the thought that once I’m in…. that’s it… for the next 4-6 years of my life…. is mildly terrifying lol. Not that I don’t want to do it, It just brings in to focus all the things that I want to do in that time that doesn’t involve getting my degrees that I feel like I won’t have time for anymore. And then the nagging thought that maybe I should put it off for another year creeps into my head… but I know I can’t do that. DEFINITELY not.

I dunno, maybe the mortality-ain’t-a-joke-slap in the face dealt by my Mom’s ordeal is just messing with my head (though she is doing well, thankfully!!) But y’all know I’m all about chasing the happy. And as much as I tell myself that getting my Ph.D. is one part of that happiness (which it is, don’t get me wrong), I’m still keenly aware that there are other possibilities I need to keep open to preserve my sanity. Academic misery is not my goal. Just a stopping point lol. So in that vein, I’m going to try and compile a list of personal happiness boosts. Things I want to do not for my academic pursuits, but hold on to “myself” really. The last thing I want is to succumb to my future. I want to command it.

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