Case of the Fake People…/Ode To My Life Changers.

I’ve realized something in my last few months here in Atlanta, and it’s this: the longer I spend in the same place, the fewer friends I end up with. The ones left are better and more trustworthy friends, no doubt, but there aren’t so many of them.

I think it’s because the longer you spend around some people, the longer they have to let their guard down and show you an ugly side of themselves you weren’t expecting…. no, scratch that. Because most times, it’s not unexpected, it’s there, glaring at us, but we choose to ignore it. I, for instance, am very extroverted, which sometimes translates into me wanting to have lots of people around me all the time. I’m finally starting to realize, however, that having all those people doesn’t mean squat if i’m not enjoying the time i’m around those people. or if i feel like if i got one of them 1on1, i’d be bored, suspicious, or just irritated. And so, the fakies (yes, that’s what i’m going to call them.) started to disappear.

And the more fakies i lose, I’m realizing the less burdensome life in general has become. Without having to deal with the vapid, shallow and uninteresting issues of fakies who, when it comes right down to it, i have to fake empathy for, i can focus on caring for those people who really matter to me, and be even more genuine to those people. I actually had a fakie express to a friend of mine that he “didn’t know why i wouldn’t talk to him, he just didn’t want to be ignored” and i thought that was wierd. He knows enough about me to know that we don’t get along, and yet, he wants to be my friend. why? because the lack of a person, even one he doesn’t like, is bothering him? I think that’s ridiculous. I don’t think anybody should cling to others for the sake of numbers or popularity or whatever else, you should want that person there because they make a difference in your life.

And i guess i’ve just gotten to the point where I’m sick of spending energy and time on people who i know don’t make much of a difference in mine, when there are those precious few who are so much more important to me. Not to say that I don’t want acquaintances in my life, but I don’t want to pretend to be someone’s best friend because they’re feeling lonely. I’ll play my part, the acquaintance. anything more is just insincere on my part, and needy on theirs. I’ve lost interest in being around people who i know won’t make the slightest effort to keep in touch once we’ve all walked across that stage, and i think that forcing anything otherwise isn’t helping. Sometimes things just have to run their course. There are of course certain people who are as necessary in my life as, oh i don’t know, vital organs, lol, and those are the people i want to hang onto. people who are constantly in the business of changing my life for the better, not just taking up space.

(FG, VK, MD, AW, KC, SC, YK, JD, KE, BL)

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